You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
you guys were way drunker than both of me
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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