Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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