I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
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