dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
