Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
