Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
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