I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
