I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Randomize
