we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
