He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
i dont even know how to be here
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
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