When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
