just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
