Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
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