i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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