I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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