I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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