All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Randomize
