He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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