her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
