I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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