We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
