She's never allowed to turn 21 again
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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