i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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