PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Randomize
