there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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