Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Non-Jews are for practice
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
