oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
