why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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