Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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