but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
