theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Randomize
