i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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