Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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