she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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