boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize