I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
