Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
