is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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