Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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