I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
