i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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