i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
