she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
