Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
