wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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