SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
