i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Hippo gnu deer
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
