I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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