I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
