ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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