Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
