Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
no more duck duck goose at the bar
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize