two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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