just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
