Walk of Shame. In a state park.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
