It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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