The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
We left the knife in your bed.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I need to align my fucking chakras
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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