honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Randomize
