hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
We just shotgunned beers for America
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
