In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
