He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
