i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
