i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Randomize
