Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
