Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Everything about him screamed your future.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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