Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
