Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Too much gin, very little bucket
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
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