Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Randomize
