She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
