Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
