This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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